"Mu uum, I'm Bored"
All parents with children over the age of two years will have heard the plaintive cry, especially when on holiday.
All you want to do is flop on a sun bed with a cool drink. What the kids want is fun and excitement. Well, it is possible to have the best of both worlds. Leave your inhibitions in the apartment and make sure you take the biggest kid of all, Dad, and take them to Funny Beach.
There are two beach bars, one selling food and drinks, one just drinks. Both have sun loungers. Find an umbrella and make camp. Then let the kids off the leash to explore the attractions. There is something for every age over about 5 years and I guess below that age they will be happy if Mum makes them a sandcastle on the fine sandy beach. This is not being sexist; Dad is going to be occupied in more manly supervision, like taking the youngsters on the jet skis, or launching them into orbit (that's what it feels like) in the giant catapult.
If you really want to lounge and let your offspring wear themselves out, there are activities that require little supervision, the pedalloes are always good for a peaceful half hour or so and there are plenty of staff watching out. Or send them on the giant inflated inner tubes. The idea is to crash into as many other tubes as you can, like water born dodgems. The small outboard engines seem to work in reverse, i.e. when you should be going forward you go backwards. Anyhow the children manage to work it out faster than the adults.
If all that has not replaced boredom then strap them into the harnesses and let them bounce themselves to a jelly on the trampolines. You, by the way, can observe this phenomenon from the comfort of the beach bar.
And then it has to be Mum and Dad's turn. Go Karts. Not your feeble putt putt type, full sized ones that hurtle you round the track with your bum inches from the tarmac. There are smaller versions for younger people. If you feel really adventurous then try the mini motorbikes on the same track.
Whilst you enjoy yourselves you can actually lock the very young in the supervised children's play area and know they will come to no harm.
You will no doubt want to replace all the calories you have burned off. There are two eating-places, the chiringuito and, behind, a restaurant with an all day barbeque that serves very tasty ribs.
So, Mum, here is your answer to that plea.
© Nicholas Craig Nutter 2004 - 2012. Nick Nutter asserts his rights as the author of this article and all associated images. This article and images may not be copied or reproduced in any way without written permission of the author.